An irrational fear of the irrational

Buyology made me realize that no matter how much we try to be rational and purge the irrational, the latter always finds its way to influence us to a degree we often not admit to ourselves.

As much as we think about the pros and cons of the many shampoo or juice drink or ice cream or whatever brands, at the end of the day, we are still influenced by what we like or what we dislike. Unconsciously, we sometimes even prolong rationalizing in order to mask the simple, irrational decision that we actually make in the end. At the end of the day, pros, cons and prices are just thrown out the window and only our penchant for the product we buy remains.

If the unconscious influences us more than we’d want to admit, then where does this irrational fear of the irrational come from?

Maybe from societal fear of human irrationality? From our own fear of a world governed not by the rational but the irrational? Or just maybe from our very own fear of our own id, our own unconsciousness? And if we have an irrational fear of our so-called id, then does it mean that we fear such part of ourselves?

Before I cause you a headache, that was actually just something I wanted to throw out in the open for us to occasionally think about in the hope that we eventually become masters of ourselves. Which includes transcending our irrational fear of the irrational, by the way.

No matter what the answer is, a part of us will always be irrational. Remaining in fear of it would not get us anywhere but admitting and realizing its influence would help us understand ourselves.

The Patola Diet

Patola or sponge gourd is a common vegetable used for soups and dishes in the Philippines. I haven’t really consciously and voluntarily eaten the vegetable so there’s really nothing much I can say about it tastes.

What I can say though is that in Swardspeak, patola has become synonymous to a individual believed to be more straight than gay who has a tendency to date or even fall for a homosexual. A play on the word patol of which to fall for is one meaning. Another of which is to take things seriously.

Lately, I have learned the value of not taking everything seriously. Or not making everything patol. Before, Teenage Tan would often retaliate or retort even to the silliest and lamest. It’s as if everything I heard or encountered actually mattered when they really did not.

Things are different now though. If you ain’t worth the time, then I don’t give a damn about what you say or what you do. Thus, if you don’t hear from me about the things you’re trying to involve me with, it doesn’t mean that I gladly agree with what you say. It just means that I have realized that I’m a gazillion times better than dealing with you and the shit you’re trying to throw at me. Always aspire to be the better person, right?

Some would probably say that such non-confrontational approach may not solve the issue at hand. But why solve an issue which shouldn’t have been one to begin with?

All I’m trying to say then is for you to go on a patola diet. Only make patol those worth making patol.

A Day I Will Always Dread

My father left for Dubai today. I wasn’t able to go with them to the airport since I have work. The last time I was with him was this morning when he dropped me off at the office. As much as I would like to believe that we have been much used to this scene, I still found myself holding back tears. Being away from him has always been difficult. And always will be.

Despite supposedly having gotten used to it, despite being stronger and wiser, a remnant of that teenage Tan who cried his heart out eight or nine years ago still remains.

Practice cannot make this one perfect, after all.

See you in December, Dad! Mom, Zen and I love you!

Going Crazy | I hope I'll find what i'm looking for. (Turnback Tuesday)

Fourth year high school (circa 2004-2005) was one of the craziest years of my life. And here's an entry made in the middle of all the chaos. Probably some proof that I've mellowed already the past five years. But that doesn't necessarily means that I'm less driven. Enjoy!

NO ANGST IN THIS ENTRY. haha.

Forgot to tell you the reason why i was so tired last night was that we had a dance practice for friday. Cool. Haha. We're gonna dance for the christmas mass and we're so scared once again. Why? Coz the first time around the cd we had skipped so we stood in front of the crowd for about a minute doing nothing at all! Grarg. that was so embarassing!!! Well, i think that pushed us to do better for this dance presentation.

I want many people to tell stories about me when i die. I want to touch so many lives so that when i die, my family won't be sad because they'll hear much about my works and deeds. (Hope, these are good, haha.) Haay...Sana i'll be something in the near future. Good luck na lang to me. haha.

I think i went crazy this fourth year. Haha. My friend has been consistently asking me why i joined so many stuff this year. He says that that is the reason why ive got no time for other stuff this year like friends, relaxation and time for myself.

I guess i also dont know the reason why i joined so much. Haha. But the closest thing i could think of is that i really wanted to do something this high school. It's that "i was trash" feeling from grade school that pushed me to be something here in high school. Hoping that i really am something in high school. Haha. I don't know but maybe it's also because of that "i want to save the world" type of thing. Kinda proud but true.

Now there's this regretful feeling of trying to do almost everything. but the feeling that ive done the right thing is stronger. I dont care if people will tell me that im trying too hard. I wont care. I just wanted to make a change. Even personal change.

I hope i'll find what i'm looking for. I know i will. I promise.

Like to Dislike?

We all have our own list of people we won’t want to hang around with. Some are of the universally detested ones such as a-holes, douches, posers and sluts. Others are born out of our own individual tastes or rather distastes. Know-it-all’s, narcissists, histrionics, social butterflies and insert all of them here.

Such sentiment probably roots from the image that society has brainwashed us with and our very own experience of being around with this kind of people. Given the shame associated with them, would there ever be a reason we’d still want to hang around with them? Probably something difficult to come up with.

But a third reason can be cited.

Sometimes, we dislike a certain group of people because we see in them a portion of ourselves we dislike as well. Whether it be our past self we’d rather forget, our current self we’d want to get away from or our future self we’d want to avoid, we declare our dislike for them to distance ourselves from these groups in the hope that distancing would steer us clear from the danger of becoming just like them. As such, the dislike for these groups proves to be the strongest since it’s the one which hits closest to home.

In times like these, change that aspect of yours first before having the guts to declare your dislike for others. You have no right saying that you don’t want to hang out with a group you dislike if that aspect you most hate about them can be found in you. Hello, hypocrisy!

And always remember, the groups you say you dislike the most are sometimes the ones you’re most afraid and likely to become a part of.

But of course, "don’t hate, appreciate" still remains the best solution.

Alone and Listening to Loneliness on Loop?

On my way home and with nothing to do, I listened to this radio show which promised callers to be matched. When asked why they called, the 2 callers I listened to answered Ayoko na kasing mag-isa or I don’t want to be alone anymore. Two callers, a few minutes of mere mockery later and the chirita feeling starting to boil inside me, I just whipped out my earphones and listened to my tunes. Did not want to hear any useless complaining about being alone anymore.

Why are we afraid of being alone? Maybe because we’ve painted being alone as so lonely when they aren’t actually even synonymous in the first place.

Let us get this straight. Being alone is the physical state of being on one’s own or without having anyone with you. Loneliness meanwhile, to put it simply, is the emotional equivalent.

Therefore, one maybe lonely but not alone. Such is the feeling when despite being surrounded by a lot of people and have had a lot of relationships, and yet you still feel isolated and disconnected.

On the contrary, one also may be alone and not lonely. You can physically be on your own without feeling isolated and disconnected at all. Such experience occurs when one realizes that genuine happiness transcends the physical; it remains despite the physical absence of the people and things that make us happy. We can be alone but be very much happy.

Before, I was actually bothered whenever I was out alone. Back then, being alone was being lonely for me. And it was an awful feeling I loathed. But now that I’m surer about who I am and being alone, I have no more qualms doing things alone.

Sometimes, being alone reveals a kind of personal contentment which goes beyond the trivialities of human relationships and the need for us to physically be with others. Accepting such fact may lead us to snap out of the loneliness loop we’ve been so insecurely used to listening to for so long.

Deafinitely Listening?

We’re so used to multimedia nowadays. And I mean the ultimate multi in multimedia. Case and point, people who watch a video online while listening to the latest Katy Perry song on their music player still while chatting with a friend. Thus, most of what we share with our friends sometimes fall on deaf ears. And it’s not because they don’t have time but because they just don’t really listen.

Being used to such situation, are we really able to listen to others nowadays?

Often, we are advised to become conscious of what we say and how we say it. People may misinterpret an innocent jab for a verbal attack if we aren’t careful with how we say things.

But a conversation isn’t just about the talker and his/her talk, right? It’s also about the listener listening. Thus, just as much as we are conscious of how we talk, we should probably be conscious as well of how we listen to other people. Like right now, how you’ll hear me out with this entry of mine while listening to that tune of yours. Drop it for now, please! Thank you!

In order to really listen, begin by giving attention to your speaker. You won’t be able to take in whatever your friend says without giving him/her your 100% attention. Your tune can definitely wait. Your friend, however, may not.

Aside from the attention, listen sensitively not only to what you can hear but also to what you may not be able to hear. A huge percentage of communication involves non-verbal cues. What you may be listening to may not exactly be what your speaker may want you to hear. Observe your speaker and use your other senses to hear not just what is heard but what should be heard.

With the multi in multimedia being driven to the hilt, listening seems well to be a challenge nowadays. However, if you open yourself and become more sensitive about what other people say then such plea to listen would not fall on deaf ears anymore.

Back to Book

Last Monday night, I had dinner and played bowling with my family in Eastwood. In between the pizza and the dismal bowling aim (I definitely need to practice!), I went to Fully Booked to buy the The Girl who Played Fire, the second in Stieg Larsson’s Millennium trilogy. And of course, I instantly wanted to rip the plastic cover off the book but I had to wait until I finished The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

I was supposed to buy other stuff but since they were out of stock, I decided to go back to Fully Booked and semi-splurge on buying The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest, the last installment of the trilogy. Hey, it might seem to indulgent but I always keep in mind what my parents have told me about books. Never ever scrimp! And so I don’t ☺

All I’d actually want to share today is my hope that the younger generation find more delight in reading a book. It seems that more teens nowadays are more enamored by movies, TV shows and brief bursts of word exchanges rather than engage themselves with a good read. A trend that may soon render books outdated and novelists jobless.

I know that I’m in no position to preach much about reading, especially the classics, since I’m more of a sporadic mainstream contemporary reader but I can still definitely attest to the many rewards of reading a book.

One of them, the opportunity to use your imagination to the fullest! Anyone of us could probably describe and imagine a more interesting Hogwarts in our minds than what any Harry Potter movie adaptation has ever churned out, right? And that’s just one out of more than a hundred reasons why books beat out the rest.

What are you waiting for? Read a book and open yourself to a new and exciting world where anything you imagine and everything you want comes to life! You may actually want to set a book quota for the year just like how my friend, Chris, aims to read 50 for 2011! Start today!

The reason behind the entry? One thing I’ll definitely remember about January 2011 is how I’ve been a bookworm these past few weeks. I have already read 4 books in a span of 2 and a half weeks! I haven’t even read five books in the last year and now I’m on my fifth! One, I hopefully finish by the end of January. Nom nom nom I devour books nom nom nom.

Some things are meant to be broken. (Turnback Tuesdays - Late)

I haven't updated my blog in a while since I'm starting on my tumblr and a lot has been happening at work. Hence, here's the delayed turnback Tuesday entry. I promise to have an entry up tomorrow but enjoy this one first which I got from my multiply blog, hence being in Filipino. Enjoy as always!

Alam kong oozing with emoness and bitterness ang title ng blog entry na ito ngunit uunahan ko na kaya para sabihing hindi siya emo or bitter o kung anumang synonym ng dalawang iyan ang naiisip ninyo. General realization lang kasi ito in life at hindi ito dahil feel kong maging emo ngayon. haha.

Well kung sa title nga, masasabi naman nating inevitable na masira ang mga bagay-bagay dahil sa law of entropy. Totoo nga namang kahit kuta-kutakot na renovation ang gawin mo sa isang lumang building e hindi mo na mababalik ito sa dati nitong ganda at gara dahil naririyan pa rin ang mga cracks na namuo na sa pagdaan ng panahon. At wala ka nang magagawa kundi patuloy na pagandahin hanggang sa tuluyan nang mawasak ito.

Ngunit, mayroon din namang mga bagay na kailangan talaga masira upang higit na pakinabangan. Isipin ninyo na lang siguro ang bakal o kung anumang materyales na binebenta sa junk shop para kahit papaano'y mapakinabangan pa sa ibang paraan. Ang pira-pirasong metal ay tinitipon, tinutunaw at binubuo muli upang mapakinabangan ito uli sa iba't ibang paraan. Oh the wonders of recycling ika nga nila. Pero mabalik tayo sa punto. Wala sanang bagong mapakikinabangan (at hindi kikita ang junk shops) kung hindi nasira ang mga bagay-bagay in the first place. Kung kaya nga, may mga bagay na ang kasiraan ang nagsisilbing kaayusan.

At tulad nga ng sinabi ng oozing with emoness na title ng blog na ito, some things are meant to be broken. At marahil hindi na nga kayang kalabanin ang law of entropy upang magrenovate o refurbish. Yakang-yaka rin naman kasi ito na nga ang maayos at pinakamaayos na kahihinatnan kaya no problem!

Di bale, pwede pa namang marecycle eh pero ibang usapan na iyon haha :p

For the heck of it

I finally succumbed to what I’ve been fighting off the past few months now.

I joined tumblr. For the heck of it, yeah. Which actually translates to me joining because of a seemingly shallow, irrational, instinct-driven reason which I rather not divulge. Let’s just be happy about my tumblr, alright? Haha

Oftentimes, we pride ourselves in being rational but at the end of the day, the tug of the irrational topples all the logic you’ve built for yourself. Thus, when a situation calls logic to be king, avoid people, things and places that might make you all go emotional and consequently irrational. Or else, you might find yourself in a situation you wanted to stay away from in the first place.

I’m not saying that you should just let logic lead your life ‘cause not everything that happens is rational. Just know when to hold the reins on your heart and when to let it free and let you pursue what you really want.

Probably just like the jeans I’m wearing here: 

Almost Home, Chai Wan MTR Station, Hong Kong, New Year 2AM

And this tumblr account of mine and the real reason behind its existence ☺

So what will change? Just a little bit. Actually, all that tumblr has aside from writing entries. I’ll still be posting entries as regular as I can. Now, I’m more accessible than before. And hopefully, I’ll be able to influence much more people. Here’s to a successful tumblr stint!

the F do I care

One of the recent best turnarounds I have made in my life was when I began not to care. About what everyone thinks about me, that is.

No matter how hard I shall try, the fact remains that I cannot and won’t be able please everybody. Nobody in the world has the capacity to do that. Even the most well-loved person who has ever lived on Earth has had his/her own share of an un-pleasable crowd.

The only opinions that should matter are from the people who have proven that they are worth listening to. Of course, you can listen and take in on other people’s opinions but take them with a grain of salt. Don’t let those opinions influence you to pursue what you’re not meant to do.

You know which opinions are worth your time. You cannot please everyone so don’t even bother changing for those whose opinions don’t even matter.

You know better and you’re always better than what others think about you. So tell them haters, the F do I care.

Oh no, is this the return of angsty Tan? Nope, just one of those nights :p

No Stranger than a World Without Strangers

Happy birthday to my mom! Love you!

Thanks to the period when my mom was very much fascinated with Giordano, I’ve amassed a couple of their World Without Strangers shirts. I only wear them seldom during weekends nowadays since I don collared shirts for work but at least I still keep her happy when I wear them once in a while.

A world without strangers. Probably impossible. But that should not prevent us from taking steps toward it right? And the first thing I suggest we do is to cream the clique mentality.

First and foremost, it’s the mentality and not the clique. I’m not asking people to disengage from their cliques and be social butterflies fluttering from one group to the next. No. Belonging to a good group benefits us as good relationships are said to be an element of happiness. It’s the danger of confining oneself with one’s ingroup, your clique, and sealing off of oneself from the outgroup or the others that I want you to disengage from.

Where does the danger come from? Group status. As all relationships are, belonging to a group often takes time and effort. Thus, once we belong, we often regard our group as the sole, be all and end all clique of the universe. And more often than not, the group even amplifies such thinking. Cue in the mean girls and all other stereotyped cliques and their “we’re in, you’re out” mentality. And you know how those cliques often ended up. More rotten as a group and as individuals than before.

The solution to avoid such end is simple. Open yourself to other people. Regard everyone as part of your group even if they belong from other cliques, classes, countries or what have you. If we see and treat them as ours, then we’d be able to share ourselves with them and let them share themselves with us. Status would not even matter in a community where everyone sees everyone as equal and unique as they are. Such perspective might be valuable since only when we relate with other people, especially those very different from us, do we realize what it really means to be human.

A world without strangers might sound farfetched but a world with two less strangers a day must not be too much of a stranger to us.

Quick assignment for the week: Open up! Try small talk with people you wouldn’t usually talk to and surprise yourself where the conversation might lead you.

Silver Misery

The so-called silver medalist syndrome. Feeling like the silver medalist who just missed out on the gold is sometimes seen as more obviously filled with gloom than the bronze medalist.

The cause of such disparity? Events have left the silver medalist with that miserable “so near yet so far” feeling by missing the gold by just a few points, inches or seconds. Meanwhile, the bronze medalist probably channels the “better than none” mantra and end up happier than expected.

Of course, I’m not saying that risks are always too great to take. All I’m saying is that you should probably be prepared for such heart break especially when you’re almost there but just couldn’t finish it off as you’ve hoped and expected.

As John Lloyd’s character from My Amnesia Girl would say it, “Ang pinakamasakit ay yung nasa’yo na, pinakawalan mo pa.” (What hurts the most is the one you’ve already had but you chose to let go.)

Thus, when you choose to leap, prepare to fall and get wounded in a bed of silver and nails. Until one day, nails will have blossomed into the roses you’ve woundedly been imagining for so long.

Note to Self (Turnback Tuesdays)

After a month's worth of disappearance, here's Turnback Tuesdays once again. I got this from my Multiply blog which was mostly written in Filipino. I chose this entry for this week since I was supposed to write about the same concept. Before writing, I remembered I had a similar entry before and voila, here it is. Enjoy, as always, my dear readers! 

Isa sa mga pinag-usapan namin sa philo noong nakaraang taon ang konsepto ni Heidegger ukol sa de-distancing. Well, hindi ko siya masyadong naintindihan tulad ng ibang pinag-usapan namin na mula sa pilosopong ito haha pero sa pagkakaintindi ko, ang ibig sabihin lang niya ng de-distancing ay ang paglapit at pagkilala sa isang bagay upang malaman mo kung ano ito at paano mo ito haharapin.

Siyempre, pinag-isipan ko rin naman iyon at ang kahalagahan ng de-distancing para makilala natin ang mga dapat nating makilala sa mundo. Kaso naisip ko rin na kasama ng prosesong ito ang distancing muli. Bakit? Kinakailangang ilayo natin ang ating mga sarili ng tamang distansya mula sa mga bagay na ito dahil iyon ang nararapat para sa atin. Hindi lang sapat na makilala natin ang isang bagay ngunit kailangan alam din natin kung paano makikirelasyon sa bagay na ito. (sabaw na ba? haha)

Kung malabo, ganito lang yan. Sa pagkilala natin sa isang tao, dapat alam natin kung anong distansya ang nararapat sa pagitan mo at ng taong iyon. Maaari kang makakakilala ng mga taong pakiramdam mo hanggang kakilala o kaibigan lang ngunit mayroon din na maaaring maging higit pa sa pakikipagkaibigan (yihee) Dapat alam natin ang hangganan ng ating pakikirelasyon sa taong iyon para hindi lumampas o kumulang ang nararapat na pakikirelasyon sa kanila.

Kailangan lang talaga ng tamang distansya sa ating pakikirelasyon sa ibang tao. At mahalagang panatiliin natin ito unless sigurado tayong kaya pa nating paikliin ang distansya na iyon. Dahil sa huli, tayo at tayo rin ang mabibigo kung umasa tayo ng higit pa sa nararapat.

Marahil isa nga itong malaking note to self para sa akin. haha.

HK Hankering For

I’ll let you in on a little secret about our Hong Kong trip: I was a little tentative about HK the first day we went around.

Don’t get me wrong, I eventually enjoyed my stay and had a blast celebrating the New Year’s Eve by the harbor and shopping the first two days of 2011. I actually want to go back sometime soon if only I’d win the lottery or someone is gracious enough to gift me with a free trip. With shopping allowance to boot please?

Looking back, I was able to determine the most plausible cause of my initial apprehensions. I expected a completely European vibe from a destination which seems more Asian cosmopolitan than Old World European. Unreasonable expectations cultivated by romanticizing my JTA European getaway. Good thing, my friends and our MTR and mall sprees helped me metro back to appreciate HK for what it offered. The rest, as they say, is a blissful and sometimes flamboyant four days.

Just like my Euro-glazed HK initial disappointment, we usually compare new things or experiences to something similar we have encountered before. Such comparison often leads to the un-appreciation of one or the other. When you compare, eventually, you’re bound find one inferior to the other. No two experiences can satisfy you as much as the other right? And though you’ve found the other as better, the fact that you have compared it has rendered it less magical than when you viewed it just on its own.

Thus, when we anticipate a new experience, relax your expectations, let the experience be and appreciate it for what it’s worth. Comparing it with any previous experience does no justice for both. Each experience is unique and beautiful on its own. We won’t be able to appreciate the totality of each experience if we keep on comparing it with previous ones.

Everyday will then be worth anticipating and appreciating if we let each day and each experience unravel its magic by itself.

Breezing through Bejeweled

Bejeweled 2 has been my iPhone pastime. Before, I could only reach the seventh level and get stuck there until my luck ran out. Recently, I’ve surprised myself with my ease of getting to level nine of its Arcade mode. Level seven is a breeze. But of course, there were a lot of times when my luck ran out just at level two. Can you imagine that!

I attribute my success to the countless hours of my crazed and eye-straining jewel swaps. My experience with the classic level especially helped since I honed my skills in quickly spotting a swappable pair. My Bejeweled spectacle has now paid off and hopefully, I’d be able to progress much more. I’m actually thinking of buying the Bejeweled 3 from the Mac App Store but it’s $20. I’m not sure if I’m ready to shell out that amount since I’m used to just $3-4 for the iPhone. Anyway, I’ll decide on it sometime soon.

You might be wondering what the hell is Bejeweled’s significance in my life? Well, this recent jewel-swapping skill improvement just validates how countless hours of practice powers us to become better and even the best at something. Success most often comes only to those who are willing to toil for hours, months and years. And only those who do so can indeed taste the sweetness of success.

Deviating a little bit more, another thing we could get from my little leisure would be experience being the greatest teacher. Over time, we get better as individuals through experience. Whatever challenges and difficulties we experience today, remember that all of these would make us better and more adept in living the life we’re meant to live. We must endure countless level seven and even level two failures to eventually breeze through level seven and face the toughness that level 10 has for us. Challenges do become easier to handle and aside from default difficulties, things do get better.

Try and try until you reach level ten and beyond as a cliché derivative would go.

A Success Strutegy

A year ago, I attended a seminar which blended theater with teaching English. Since most if not all of my colleagues there were actual teachers, I felt out of place. When the trainer asked me to go in the center and perform a simple task, I flubbed it even before I did it.

How? I apologized. Sheer manifestation of my low self-esteem and lack of confidence. The trainer immediately gave me a morale boost by telling me that as a supposed person of theater already, I should always be confident in whatever I do. Yes, even in those where I’m not really confident in.

The first step to success then is to be confident. No matter how difficult or uncertain a task is, it shall be easier to handle if you believe that you can do it. Things can and will get easier if you make it look easy.

Also, a professor who lacks confidence during his/her lecture leaves his/her students with a cloud of doubt if what has been taught was relevant or even real. Nobody will believe in what you say or do if you don’t believe in yourself first.

Be confident. Pretend to be confident if you have to pretend. There’s no better start to success than to be confident and believe in yourself.

Thus, my confident Uniqlo tote bag strut along the busy streets of Marikina I had while going home.

Best Intentions

Before anything else, I’d just like to share that I’ve finished reading The Emperor’s Tomb by Steve Berry! The intricacies of the character dynamics surely made up for the lack of the sleuthing I loved in the previous novels. Nonetheless, another job well done, my favorite author!

On to regular programming, folks. Here’s a quote I remember from Jurassic Park III. Yes I know, a rather unique quote source but just please forgive the fanatic to indulge. It was uttered by Dr. Grant after he discovered that Billy, his loyal assistant, stole raptor eggs. Billy said that he only had the best intentions when he did it to which Dr. Grant replied:

“Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with best intentions.”

We always believe that we do things with the best of intentions. Of course, at such point in time, our perception of a situation’s need seems the best we have for the situation at hand. However, as the quote reveals, our supposed best intentions do not always lead to the best of results. It sometimes even produces the worst possible outcome we could have.

Before acting on our best intentions, we should probably ask ourselves if the action we’d pursue would lead to a favorable outcome. Sometimes, intentions seem best just because they are best in terms of self-interest. We might as well think if the intentions we do have are the best for the situation or if they’re just best for our own good.

There’s nothing wrong with having the best intentions. We just have to think and rethink whether they are indeed the best.

Help me with Cigarettes and a Knife

I began reading Buyology by Martin Lindstrom before I left for Hong Kong last week. One of the first findings presented in the book was how recent addition of graphic visuals on cigarette packs did not help inhibit smokers from getting their daily nicotine dose. The study said that the visuals matter of fact even stimulated the portion of the brain responsible for the craving fix and that the guilty feeling arose not from their acknowledgment of cigarette’s effects but from the craving they felt. Indeed a devious brain ploy.

Just like the graphic visuals, we sometimes do things we perceive as most helpful when in fact we do not help at all. And sometimes, such action even worsens the situation instead of making things better.

One may now ask, why even pursue those who helped out in the first place and why not just go after those who did not help at all? First, those who did not help at all are irrelevant in today’s entry. Second, helping is not about having the intention to help. It’s about the actual benefit gained by the helped party. Borrowing a metaphor from Alanis’ Ironic, we may perceive that we helped somebody by gifting them with ten thousand spoons but if s/he only needed a knife, then were we really able to help him/her?

Sometimes, we just have to reflect on the kind of help we lend to other people. Of course, thank you very much for your intention to help. We need more people who genuinely want to help. And since the intention already exists in you, why not go the distance and give what they really need and not what you think they need. Only then will we be able to help others in the fullest aspect of the word.

Only then will we be able to prevent smokers’ cigarette crave and provide the knife that Alanis’ Ironic persona needs.

On 2011 Resolutions

Here’s my brief yearender as promised.

Coming off the heels of a topsy turvy 2009, the year 2010 was characterized by stability and individual growth. Aside from occasional work-related highs and lows, I could honestly say that it was smooth sailing in all other aspects of my life. Except for the non-existent love life if ever you wondered, dear reader. Haha.

Kidding aside, I remember several times last year when I’d think about my life and be grateful for the stability and serenity I was experiencing at that moment. Though there were occasional issues and challenges, none caused enough turmoil to stir the pot. And knowing the huge changes that shall be coming this year, I’m especially grateful to experience such stability the past year.

Looking back at my resolutions which mostly focused on life management (especially time), I could say that I’ve done enough this year. Though there were still weeks and days when the stress was still high, I have managed my workload better and have accomplished a lot more in the past year. I have also given myself more “me time” this year. A rather important development, I suppose. Since I have allotted more time for myself, I’ve had the opportunity to rest well and engage in leisurely activities. Therefore, I was more productive in other aspects of my life. On a side note, one of my proudest leisurely achievements this year would be my 82-page Social Psychology notes. ☺

For 2011, I have three things I want to do:

1. Manage my life better and become surer about myself, my wants and needs

2. Become even more grateful for all the blessings I shall receive especially the people who will make my 2011 a memorable one

3. DETOX! Continuing the “me time” I discovered last year, I’d like to take such resolution to the next level and banner it as my 2011 mantra!

Hopefully, when I look back come January 2012, I’d be able to pat myself on the back and tell myself, “Life just always gets better!”

DETOX 2011, here we go!

Still on Vacation Mode

Well hello there 2011! This isn’t my yearend or resolutions entry. I made this last week before I left for Hong Kong. I’ll probably post one short one by tomorrow or Thursday. Nevertheless, happy new year everyone!

As you may have probably noticed, I’ve recently struggled to write an entry for this blog of mine. It’s a combination of reasons, I suppose. Having the luxury of time, I’ve used it to do things I usually cannot do when I have work such as spend time with the people I’ve missed having fun with, watch movies and series I’ve missed out on and savoring the life of having nothing work-related to do.

Since blogging has been my sweet escape from work and now that work’s on break, it seems that my mind wants to have a break from writing an entry as well. Thus, my struggle to churn out an entry lately. So forgive me, my dear reader but I’m going to get my wheels rolling again some time soon. I promise.

This struggle with writing has showed me how routines affect us. Since my work persona is on hiatus, activities I have associated with it such as using my brain more productively and writing a decent entry have also come to a halt.

We sometimes struggle because some activities just do not go together. Some things are easier done if they’re done together with an activity they’re usually associated with. Thus, when you want to be productive with an activity, go ahead and do it with something you’ve usually done it with. Of course, there are a lot more variables to consider but it somewhat gives you a headstart.

In a way, it also shows us how all the things we do are interconnected. The end of one influences the continuity of others.