13 December 2010

I bet you think this blog is about you

To those who personally know me, how many times do you think I have written an entry because of you? If you answer more than once then I bet you think this blog is about you.

However, it’s definitely not the case because I haven’t had anyone single-handedly influencing an entry. Sorry, folks!

Before this entry shatters your fantasy, I’d like to tell you that such idea and behavior are normal. When we read, the phrases and paragraphs that capture our attention the most are the ones which seem to speak to us the most. We adapt the material to our own needs in order that it makes the most sense to us. Think of horoscope. It’s something written for general audience but it seems to speak only to you when you interpret it.

Sometimes, we even go beyond and have the illusion that such article was written especially because of us. An exaggeration of the Spotlight Effect, belief that others are paying more attention to one’s appearance and behavior than they really are (David Myers). Bluntly, it could be read as others don’t care about you and your life as much as you do and believe them to do. Face it, Tan, not everyone is as interested in yourself as much as you are. Face it, honey, not everyone is as interested in yourself as much as you are.

Thus, take everything with a grain of salt unless the article blatantly states that it’s especially written for you. Reflect on how appropriate, valuable and valid your realizations are before you follow through.

To end on a positive note, in a way, veering ourselves away from the perils of Spotlight Effect liberates us. Such insight empowers us to focus on what we really want and pursue our own look and actions without becoming conscious of what others would say or feel. Of course, only to an extent still respectful, sensitive and non-injurious of others.

And yes, for once, that entry was about you.

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