Crush Crush Crush

I would like you to think about someone you find cute or maybe someone you do have a crush on. As you answer the following question, please remember the probably giggly and kilig feeling you might have for this person.

Would you believe me more if I told you that s/he’s really crushable or s/he’s not?

Most of you would probably believe me more if I told you that s/he’s really crushable. Why would you support an opinion opposite of your own belief right? Certainly, you’d want to believe in something you already believe in.

Since we’re in the realm of biases, I’d like to briefly introduce the phenomenon of confirmation bias. Our tendency to believe in opinions which support what we already believe in. It’s just common sense that we believe more those we want to believe in and through those which also believe what we believe in already. Ain’t it difficult to entertain an opposing view when the comfort of a supporting one is at hand?

Remaining in the comforts of one’s own opinions indicates an individual who has a difficult time opening himself/herself to an opposing view. It’s quite selfish if you ask me, given that you only consider yourself and your preferences and biases in deciding what you will believe in. It’s also dangerous given the possibility of an illusion that almost everyone agrees with your opinion even when it’s not the case. Actually, it might even be eventually self-defeating as you limit yourself only to those you like and believe in. Instead of enriching yourself through diverse point of views, you become trapped in a world where broader perspectives are available.

It’s probably better if we genuinely open ourselves to the opinion of others. This includes weighing in on the pros and cons of both sides to arrive at a rational decision. Certainly, it would not be all rationality and zero preference, as one’s biases shall still ultimately influence the final decision. Though the initial decision stays, you were still able to gain new perspectives that hopefully were able to contribute to your growth. Besides, considering others’ opinions and still preferring the original decision strengthens the latter’s validity.

When the tempting comfort and convenience of confirming opinions presents itself, remember to resist and consider the opposing side. Only then will sounder decisions and an individual with a broader perspective be made.

The next time your friend asks you if his/her crush is really crushable, crush his/her crush first. If s/he still has a crush and the crush is really crushable, then good for your friend. But if the crush isn’t crushable, please crush your friend. Kidding of course!