Disclaimer: This entry I wrote sucks.

Reflecting further on the theme yesterday, I remembered the time I attended a workshop for English teachers. Yes, they were all English teachers. I was therefore very hesitant when I was asked to participate in a speaking activity. Thus, I began my spiel with an apology/disclaimer about my mastery of the language. Which our facilitator immediately respectfully dismissed.

She told the group that one should never begin with an apology or disclaimer since it reveals a lack of self-confidence and reeks of self-handicapping or performing subpar and demonstrating behaviors to protect one’s self-image in case of failure.

Between the two, I believe that the latter should startle us more since it is a symptom of selfishness.

Since we worry over an image of ourselves that might be tarnished once we fail, we present a contrived version of ourselves. We prevent ourselves from revealing our true selves probably because we fear that others might not welcome the truth as much as we would want it to be welcomed. At the end of the day, the importance of our self-image exceeds that of any other need.

Actually, the fear of others’ acceptance might not even play in the situation knowing the priorities of a self-handicapping individual. The prime source of their fear might actually be one they are ultimately unconscious of.

The fear that the real self is far from their image of themselves.

A legitimate fear I suppose but such an unfortunate response. What’s a suitable response then? The first steps will be laid out in this entry.

You first have to know yourself and manage your self-image. You have to decipher who you really are, all positive, negative and everything in between. Afterwards, reconcile your imagined self and your real self. It will especially be difficult accepting the traits you don’t like about yourself. But in the end, acceptance shall lead you to go beyond your image consciousness and self-handicap. Thus, you’ll be able to give a 100% of yourself to others because you know who you are and what you’re capable of no matter what comes your way.

You won’t need to give disclaimer about yourself because one should not be sorry for just being 100% himself/herself.

Therefore, I retract the disclaimer above. Yes, even if you agree with it wholeheartedly. ☺