Never Be The Same Again (Turnback Tuesdays)

It's been a long time since my last Turnback Tuesday so here is an entry circa November 2005. This entry was written at such a momentous time. *wink wink* And things were definitely never the same again after this period. Still, enjoy as always!

Disclaimer: This entry I wrote sucks.

Reflecting further on the theme yesterday, I remembered the time I attended a workshop for English teachers. Yes, they were all English teachers. I was therefore very hesitant when I was asked to participate in a speaking activity. Thus, I began my spiel with an apology/disclaimer about my mastery of the language. Which our facilitator immediately respectfully dismissed.

She told the group that one should never begin with an apology or disclaimer since it reveals a lack of self-confidence and reeks of self-handicapping or performing subpar and demonstrating behaviors to protect one’s self-image in case of failure.

Between the two, I believe that the latter should startle us more since it is a symptom of selfishness.

I think you should know that I've been damaged.

After rewatching the Glee episode which featured a mash-up of Unpretty and Pretty, I got on Youtube and listened to just four TLC songs all afternoon. Of course, Unpretty, Waterfalls and the more recent hits Dear Lie and Damaged. God, I miss the music of the early 2000s.

I remember being hooked on the song Damaged for a while back then. Maybe simply because of the melody or maybe because it was a glimpse of my melancholic tendencies. Nevertheless, I watched the video again and savored the seemingly swan song of a damsel with a disclaimer of being damaged. The following line probably serves as the song's gist:

I’ve fallen in love, there’s one disadvantage, I think you should know that I’ve been damaged.

In terms of relationships, aren’t we all damaged to varying degrees in the first place?

An Advice Hatched from the Jurassic Park

When I was in college, some of my blockmates used to tease me that I had messianic complex. I won’t deny nor confirm the truth of this allegation. However, I will confirm that I sometimes do have this notion that I might have been commissioned to help save the world. ☺

As a result of such outlook, it has always been a frustration of mine when somebody asks for advice, listens, agrees in principle yet discards it altogether in the end. I did my best to utter the wisest words for him/her to simply just heed but he/she just had to not follow what I told him/her in the end. The nerve right?

Recently, however, I eccentrically have comforted myself with a line from the first Jurassic Park film. (Yes, I have learned a lot from that movie aside from the trilogy being my favorite of all time!) 

I. Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata

Bunsod ng mga nakalipas na mga kumustuhan, malalimang talakayan, harutan, okrayan, seryosong usapan, chikahan at pagmumuni-muni, kasalukuyan tayong nasa bungad ng isang yugtong walang ipinapangako kundi ang pagiging hitik sa pagbabago.

Nakatatakot. Lagi namang nakatatakot. Sino bang hindi natatakot na mamuhay nang iba sa nakasanayan? Bakit pa nga ba kailangang may mga dumating, lumisan, mag-iba lalo na kung ginhawa na ang katambal na ng nakasanayan? Simple lang ang tugon ko riyan.

Trash Talk

You can justify and modify all you want but trash will always be trash. No amount of reasoning or alteration can change trash into gold. Yes, you could make people believe that such piece of trash is gold. However, the change occurs only in the belief and not in the actual thing. Thus, no matter what you believe in, do or say, it’s still and will always be trash.

It’s up to you if you want to deceive yourself with such illusion and suffer the consequences of delusion. Remember though, that despite everything, trash will never be gold. It will always be trash.

Only the Weak Look Back and Wonder

Eloisa and I had a twilight moment of sorts a month ago. It was 10 in the evening and we were on our way home along our usual route. When we got to Paseo de Riley, which has an eerie reputation during the nighttime, we both heard a sound which echoed like a dog howling and mocking us at the same time. Actually, we both weren’t aware that we both heard the sound. But, we instantly held on to each other, walked, no, ran faster and decided not to look back. Call it cowardice but I was never a fan of horror movies anyway. And I don’t want to imagine that I was in one at that time!

So what did I eventually tell myself to justify my actions? Only the weak look back and wonder. Quite the irony I suppose but hey, whatever works right?