Since I left my key in the office and nobody was set to arrive in the next 30 minutes (the first person actually arrived 45 minutes after. Good decision, Tan!), I decided to head to the library, it being the place that I love to hang out recently. I needed internet access by the way so I went to their version of the RSF comp lab (read: tanders na) and logged in. While waiting, I decided to check out the online psych journals since I'm in the middle of this disillusionment that I'd be a psych grad student some day. One of the journals I glanced through was about nostalgia and attachment-avoidance. I really didn't get to absorb the article but all I can remember, if I got it correctly, was that nostalgic people usually low attachment-avoidance since they'd always fondly share memories with people and remain securely attached. (Not really sure but hey it's all about how it registered in my head so...haha)
Of course, the thing that stuck to me was nostalgia. And how I'm really a person who breathes memories. Blessed/cursed with rather good memory, I've learned to enjoy reminiscing about the years gone by. Conversation with common friends are usually about our past misfortunes, triumphs and the rest in between. It's comforting being reminded of the sweet and young life you've had before, knowing you'd want to go back to the happier moments of your life and relive the experience over and over again.
I'd want that when I grow older. When I become 25, 30, heck even 50. (Cannot imagine how I'll be when I'm 50 though) But some time soon, my memory shall fail me and that's why I'd need to write them down somewhere. Hopefully, this blog will still be accessible 27-28 years from now so I might still be able to read back and cherish on the thoughts I've had at this point of my life.
I'm actually doing that already. Looking at my petty yet content 16 year old self around six years ago, I remember how naive I was and how much different I viewed the world. I don't want to deprive my 28 year old self of that. I still want to look back six years from now and read how I raved and ranted and lived and loved my life. Hopefully, that future Tan will tell himself, "wow, he's been through a lot but starting 22, he surely became much more positive and better."
I can't do it on facebook one-line status messages alone. I can't live on that. I don't want to look back and read through the one-liners which sometimes aren't even mine to begin with. However, given the change in responsibilities, I don't think I can blog as lengthy as I am doing now. Thus, for times like those, win-win situation would be to list down five SPECIFIC things that made me happy today and five other ones that I'm thankful for today. At least, though those entries will be short, they'd be words or even sentences that could prime myself whenever remembering the moments I've been through. If ever I don't get to post, it means that I have to post them the next time. Basta, you get the idea! So it'll either be just the happyness things or a post with happyness things. Certainly the latter is preferred but we'll see :p
And so we begin today:
HAPPYNESS IS:
1. The new Rizal Library
I super duper love staying there. Sorry, but I really find it better than our previous library or baka lang I miss staying in the lib lang and sleeping for hours. Haha.
2. Banoffee pie slice for dinner dessert
Finally got to a slice of banoffee pie I bought from banapple!
3. Finishing the social psych book last monday.
I just had to put this haha proud accomplishment of a frustrated psych undergrad student
4. Terrified before and now Love the way you lie by Eminem feat. Rihanna LSS the whole day
Currently listening to these two songs the most. As in stuck on a youtube tab where'd I play it anytime I want music while working haha
5. Kenny's dinner with Deens
Of course, winner of the day! Nothing beats chatting over dinner with a pal you haven't seen and talked to in a while. Kahit isa itong malaking pagpapanggap, salamat Deens!
6. The tantannatnat revival!
Woot! Sana tuloy-tuloy na ito just like the happyness that's in me!
THANK YOU FOR:
1. Ride from Kenny's to u-turn c/o Deens and mom
Saved time and energy much!
2. Phone call from dad
Even though it seems that we only talk about how my day has been, I really appreciate your call, dad. Love you and always take care!
3. Rizal Library
New found haven and saved me 45 minutes of waiting today.
4. Feeling better as the day went on
I really felt sick at the beginning of the day. Actually thought of backing out of dinner with Deens but good thing I felt better as the day progressed
5. Positive thinking!
This changed perspective, though I'm still a novice, really works and unburdens me! Nothing's impossible with a positive mind!
Most probably the format would change but spare me for this first entry. Thanks and toodles!
No comments:
Post a Comment